Sunday, 1 November 2015

Why we have to do things differently from other families

Why we have to do things differently from other families.
Firstly let me point out the graphic in the picture.
Aiden is in the lower corner of the pic, getting his Stim on, He is not upset or distressed, just using his physical body to bring his stimulations to a more comfortable level, See he is aware that we get dressed up, decorate and do things for special occasions. He enjoys the atmosphere, but finds it harder to participate in the way that others do.

In this pic, Keira and Connor ae getting all dressed up, ready to go 'trick or treating' Aiden is not! That is because he can't understand the knocking on doors and not going in? nor having a final destination to his journey! So we as a family work with what is best for everybody, Not forcing him to do something that he doesn't like, nor forcing the other two to stay at home, because of Aidens feelings. We split our parenting in this time. One of us will chaperone Keira and Connors spooky trick or treating, and the other will stay at home with Aiden, answering the door to the little spooks who come knock on our door. Aiden actually really likes it when our door gets knocked, He likes to go and see the costumes and offer out the bowl of treat for the children to have 
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Me and Mommy have learned over the years, what works and what doesn't with our three children. Sometimes we make mistakes.... BIG mistakes, and end up with meltdown central station at rush hour! But we learn from them. 
We don't feel that Aiden is 'missing out' because forcing him to participate would just be wrong. If he shows signs in the years to come that he wants to take part, we will give him that opportunity, and if it goes wrong so be it.

I'm explaining this today as it's Halloween and will be more understood by others who may face similar situations, or also question other families lack of involvement.
This 'doing things differently' does not only happen on Halloween, it happens all throughout the year, Birthdays, Parties, Shopping, Christmas etc...
And this is the way that me and my family do things, others may have a different approach. And it's not bad, sad or wrong, It is just the way it is.

Don't feel sorry for us. we get on just fine, just in our own way 
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I hope this helps some of you out there who read this, and thank you for your support x

Monday, 16 February 2015

Hey Dad's. Don't Give up!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

I am a dad to 3 Children, and 2 of them are my boys who are on the autistic spectrum!
They are both on different ends of the spectrum (Connor is high functioning and Aiden is severe non-verbal)

I feel very sad when i see posts from families saying that dad's don't 'stick around'???
I mean what the absolute FFFF?
Some 'men?' are not meant to be parents! and they need to control there hormones when it comes to women! (they know who they are!)
But...........even if it is planned or an accident, Becoming a father is the greatest feeling in the world!
That feeling you get when you know that 'you are now a dad' is the biggest ego boost anybody can have.

But yet! I see and hear that men (cowards) run away from this, Because the child they made doesn't fit their requirements! I know, you were planning to 'play ball, build a car, be best buds and chase the lady's' But sometimes it doesn't go the way you thought.
That is no excuse to pack up and leave! Even if your child is 'not normal' (eaurgh, I vomit in my mouth when i type this!) I mean seriously! that is your own flesh and blood! You have a responsibility to make and create the best out of them that you can.
And running away! well that that's just pathetic!!

You will miss out on the best feelings in the world. And you will never get the satisfaction of having being there!

I have been there since day 1 with my kids. And I would never ever change that for anything!
Even when I am woken up at 4am to the sounds of 'mmmnnaaahhh' and when I have to stand over my son in the middle of town to stop him from rolling onto the road! Because what they give me and what I give them is a feeling that money can't buy.
The small steps, or Giant leaps they make, I can see my influence in there (no matter how small) And that feeling cannot be bought or faked!

And on the plus side..........When else is it acceptable to eat ice cream for breakfast? if not to get some fruit into your child?

The battles we have, the journey we take, there is no comparison to the joys we encounter!
So......Man up! and just deal! because if you don't. You will never know how powerful a 'hug' or 'kiss' can be!