Sunday, 1 November 2015

Why we have to do things differently from other families

Why we have to do things differently from other families.
Firstly let me point out the graphic in the picture.
Aiden is in the lower corner of the pic, getting his Stim on, He is not upset or distressed, just using his physical body to bring his stimulations to a more comfortable level, See he is aware that we get dressed up, decorate and do things for special occasions. He enjoys the atmosphere, but finds it harder to participate in the way that others do.

In this pic, Keira and Connor ae getting all dressed up, ready to go 'trick or treating' Aiden is not! That is because he can't understand the knocking on doors and not going in? nor having a final destination to his journey! So we as a family work with what is best for everybody, Not forcing him to do something that he doesn't like, nor forcing the other two to stay at home, because of Aidens feelings. We split our parenting in this time. One of us will chaperone Keira and Connors spooky trick or treating, and the other will stay at home with Aiden, answering the door to the little spooks who come knock on our door. Aiden actually really likes it when our door gets knocked, He likes to go and see the costumes and offer out the bowl of treat for the children to have 
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Me and Mommy have learned over the years, what works and what doesn't with our three children. Sometimes we make mistakes.... BIG mistakes, and end up with meltdown central station at rush hour! But we learn from them. 
We don't feel that Aiden is 'missing out' because forcing him to participate would just be wrong. If he shows signs in the years to come that he wants to take part, we will give him that opportunity, and if it goes wrong so be it.

I'm explaining this today as it's Halloween and will be more understood by others who may face similar situations, or also question other families lack of involvement.
This 'doing things differently' does not only happen on Halloween, it happens all throughout the year, Birthdays, Parties, Shopping, Christmas etc...
And this is the way that me and my family do things, others may have a different approach. And it's not bad, sad or wrong, It is just the way it is.

Don't feel sorry for us. we get on just fine, just in our own way 
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I hope this helps some of you out there who read this, and thank you for your support x

1 comment:

  1. Love this, explains it well and is exactly where we are at. 'Split parenting' may not be what we all wished for before having children, but if it works and leads to a calm happy family then it's got to be better than forcing your will on others!
    Think you should write more btw ;)